The need for compromise

Examining the creed; installment 2.

2. The Pacifist will always attempt to understand the feelings of the other side. They know that while they hold one specific view the opposite side in a conflict clearly holds another. If you choose to only listen to yourself and not to try to see the other side then you will never reach a consensus.

This one is tough. It is very difficult to put yourself into the place of another person, particularly if they seem diametrically opposed to you. However, unless you are willing to try to understand all sides how can you possibly hope to make a compromise. Given the current climate in American politics I think I should define this concept. Compromise is an agreement in which all parties give up something they want in order that a decision can be made. For example, if I want beef and my wife wants chicken we may choose to have fish. Neither of us got what we wanted, but we each got something we like. Compromise does not mean holding an agreement hostage until the other party gives up everything. Both groups loose something, but each group gains more in the agreement.

Another quick note. I am not attacking America. I happen to be a citizen and can only talk confidently about things that directly effect me. I don't know if the concept of compromise is an issue in other countries' governments, so I don't mention anything about them. Back to the topic.

If you want to have peace then you must be willing to give up something yourself. You must be willing to compromise. If your pride requires of you to win all arguments then you cannot hope to achieve peace. When you hold out for only your way you will inevitably find yourself in a fight. Maybe not physical, but certainly a fight. Don't think that you should devalue your own opinions on a subject, particularly one you are well acquainted with. If you feel that a discussion is moving toward a fight then step back, stop, and seek out authoritative proof of the topic. The beauty of the age that we live in is the multitude of sources available to us for fact checking. You may have noticed that I site my sources when dealing with history. I do this so you know that I am not making it up or just stating opinion. Frankly, I am often wrong about my beliefs and, unfortunately, allow myself too often to let my passions on a topic get the better of me. This point is one that I want to pride myself the most on, but often find the hardest to fulfill. I usually can see the other side of the argument, letting go of my personal biases is another thing entirely.

To be a pacifist means to try and relax biases. These can be innate, cultural, nationalistic, taught, learned, etc. All that they do for us in the end is stand in the way of compromise. Take the current budget crises in America. On the one hand you have the radical democrats refusing to allow any change to entitlements, on the other you have the radical republicans refusing to consider any tax increases. In the middle you have most Americans simply wanting a decision to be made which will reduce the risk of economic downturn. As long as the fringe groups refuse to relent on their choices then we will remain in danger of default on our loans. Which way is the best? Neither. If you continue to take in revenue and then simply spend it you gain no ground on savings or loose any means to pay debts. If you take in no revenue then you stand no chance to eliminate any debt you already have or to save up for the future. So you do what most people usually do, you continue to generate revenue, you put some aside and you pay your bills. To make certain you can do both you cut back on unnecessary expenses.

I don't want to make this about politics or economics. I just wanted to give an example of a place where compromise is possible and easy. It isn't always easy or even possible. The subject of slavery was one that needed to be handled. It saddens me that attempts to end the slave trade led to war, but there seemed little chance for reason to prevail. In most situations, compromise and reason can win out. It is up you to judge when the situation has gotten out of hand. If you feel that you cannot find a compromise or help the other side see reason, then you should first seek help. Get others involved to mediate the conflict and help find compromise. If the situation is beyond compromise and is important enough to warrant further action, for instance you or others are threatened, or it is a situation as drastic as slavery or genocide, then you take action. Be certain though that the action you take is warranted to the situation.

The chinese philosopher and Taoist Lao-Tse once said about peace, "If there is to be peace in the world, there must be peace in the nations. If there is to be peace in the nations, there must be peace in the cities. If there is to be peace in the cities, there must be peace between neighbors. If there is to be peace between neighbors, there must be peace in the home. If there is to be peace in the home, there must be peace in the heart." It alls begins with you and your personal universe. You must seek to find peace and compromise with yourself and those closest to you if you hope to see peace for all the world.